well done you 3 for keeping me entertained with your blogs in a rather dull airport yesterday! yes i'm back from 'merica, and i've now been awake for 24 hours so this may get even more delusional than usual. planes suck for sleeping on. oh yeah, that hoebag richard branson's plane sucks! on the way out i watched 3 nifty-ass films, and i was all entertained, then on the way back all the films were shite. instead of mass movie viewing i ended up watching outnumbered. twice. but it is good so it's all fine and dandy. oh and i read a fair amount of johnny cash's autobiography, which is peng as. he's oh so clever and talks alot about his spirituality, and all his experiences with the supernatural. interesting stuff.

i learnt how to hypnotise myself too, it's really good but last time i did it i woke up off the side of the bed and i couldn't breathe, so i'm giving up that hobby for a while.

nap time, i'll write more later

a song

moose moose, in the nature reserve

getting shot at like they say it deserves

silly americans and their silly guns

with their pregnant daughters and obese sons



sweet home alabama or so they say

down there they love to bash the gay

kavi better not go there, he'd just get mirked

but that's if he didn't just blow them up first



so back to the song i mentioned above

some of their band members died in a story i love

they were on this plane going on tour

then the engines blew up and it hit the floor


so like half the members died and the plane was debris

but 3 days before they had relelased this cd: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bf/StreetSurvivorsFlames.jpg

oh how i lol at the ironic cover

but now i've digressed from those american mother(s)




in the us they hunt anything that moves

eg deer, fowl, moose and jews

but i don't get why they hunt the meese

like their tolerance to muslims, i think it should cease

meese aren't like deer cos they barely move

maybe theyre hunted so the rednecks can prove

that theyre so much more manlier than the rest of the nation

or maybe they just want to let out frustration



that they can't shoot an animal it's difficult to kill

so instead they resort to this low level skill

of hunting an animal that their country loves

despite its antlers being shaped like oven gloves



apparently there people give dead animals as presents to their spouses

in the form you see where people hang their skulls and shit in houses

see a deer's antlers look way more cool

than a moose's as a general rule


cos theyre all pointy and therefore can hurt you more

but wouldnt you feel threatened as you walked through the door

of a house where dead stuff was everywhere?

a deer skull here, a bearskin there


i'd feel like i'd be about to be shot

by those crazy rednecks who just haven't got

a clue which other 'race' they should attack or blame

beacause to americans us 'foreigners' are exactly the same



i'll stop now because it's late and im tired of trying to rhyme everything i want to write :D

quack.

arghh when's this frickin' tennis game going to finish? not that i have anything better to do. it's 22:23 and murray and 'the other guy' are still playing. i like how we have the most blatant advantage ever, having it in our gaff and all, yet nobody complains. it's like having the world cup in our country every year. this umpire's (?) telling the crowd to 'quieten down'. what a dick, these people have waited in line most of the day, i think they should do what they want. maybe a mass singalong. i'd start that if i went, you know, just a bit of kumbaya to liven up this neverending game.

yes i did write that the other day.

i got this month's q magazine in today, and guess who's on the cover? michael jackson! wahey!!! yeah he looks really scary, then again i guess he was on the verge of death when he did that photo shoot. this long article they have was written like a month ago so they basically discuss how ill he is and how big a comeback it's going to be. and they did one a while back entitled 'why jacko won't be able to do 50 dates', including such quotes as 'it's highly likely his heart will struggle under the pressure' and 'more and more of his fans will be disappointed'. well you know...

huw edwards is so cool, i saw him in green park station the other day, looking all confident like a newsreader should. he's the kind of man you'd have to listen to isn't he? everything he says is undeniable fact. i bet he could really boss his wife about. 'dear, i'm going to conduct a series of affairs with the neighbours ok? please huw you're breaking my heart! never mind, sit back down... ok huw.' i like all this staying up late business, i spend my time flicking between Dave and Gold, watching re-runs of mock the week and little britain. the latter used to really piss me off when 10 year olds would watch it and repeat all the catchphrases. although i probably did that when i first watched it, but i watched it from the 3rd episode on bbc three, so noboody would know what i was on about... WOAH paul rudd's in little britain usa, he's like one of my favourite actors!

do you ever wonder if you're living in an alternate reality? i wonder pretty much every day if i'm in my own version of the truman show, then i realise how dull my life actually is, and that nobody would watch that show. also people would be able to see me wank and that, which isn't entertainment i would make a 24hr programme about. plus i pretty much sit around all day. oh yeah, now im at home all the time, my parents have got all jealous and set me all these gay little tasks to do while theyre at work. some are ok, like 'tidy your room' or 'go to the bank', then theres other shit like 'make dinner'. MAKE DINNER!?!? how fucked up is that? a) anything more advanced than a sandwich is a risk and b) IM NOT A WOMAN! i dont mind doing a bit for myself but for other people?!?! urgh. anyway im off, after that you're either smiling, or slowly losing respect for me. latersss

yes it's 1:30am, and i really should be in bed, but i thought i'd do some quick postage for once. i've got into the habit of staying up to either go out or watch films at night, mainly ones which i v+'d at xmas and haven't bothered to watch. tonight's feature is face/off. john travolta is a cop (excuse the americanism) and he has his face surgically removed, then replaced with that of comatose criminal nicholas cage, so he can go to jail and find out wherre some bomb is from other badguys who believe he's cage. then cage wakes up, breaks into this surgery and has his non-face replaced by john travolta's old face. then they hunt each other down and shit. it's all very confusing, especially from my re-telling, not that it's a plausible anyway. they manage to change their voices to that of the person's face they take, and also the same body, although they don't mention either of these. so if they don't change their bodies, it's rather silly that travolta's wife believes that she's being tapped by him, when she's really with his face and cage's body. silly bitch. it's a decent film anyway, better than mr and mrs smith, but not as good as sweet home alabama or juno, which i've also spent my nights watching. man i'm tired. i can't remember the last time i went to bed before 1. i'm starting to sound like kavi.

so prom was decent, if we went back in time and re-did yr 11 prom i think we'd all agree that this year's was far superior, even if those beverages were ridiculously priced... the music was decent, plus it was a gift that we had any alcohol, rather than being 16. have a look at arctic monkeys new album:

http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/news.php?id=307

looks dull doesn't it? hang on, bbc news 24 has just switched to abc1 news reports. what the fuck?! they're so damn lazy over there! they can't even stay awake to do world news! just some woman in the bbc studio every 10 minutes, reassuring insomniacs that they havent changed channel... and now theyre describing the confederations cup as a 'warm up' to the world cup. no it's not, its a whole fucking year beforehand! how can it be a warm up you silly eternally happy yank newscaster! damn ye. anyway i've probably rambled on and changed topic way to many times, so i'll leave y'all to your sitting around, wondering what to do next =)

blar.

Ahhhh good old blogspot. where we can all share our silly teenage views on world happenings on events from around the globe. joy for all =) i'm thinking i should make me a draft entry based on the death of jade goody, and how pleased i am that the papers can go back to reporting news, or in the Daily Express' case - Diana. Its been 12 years! Get over it! Do you think in 12 years we'll be like 'oh yeah remember that jade girl who popped her clogs like 12 years ago?' 'No, who was that?' 'Remember, that fucking racist slag one?' 'Oh her! yes i remember now!' It'll probably still be in the papers then, especially when her son's use the money to buy crack to force their smack addiction they've had since the age of 13. This is what happens when chavs get their way you know. Damn big brother, although their curséd show has thankfully only managed to inflict just the 1 minor celebrity upon us.



Anyway.... here's a game i like to play called 'pretend i know something about politics'. So.... that gordon brown... what's he playing at eh? he's all like scottish and stuff. we should bring back cromwell. from the grave. or petition outside 10 downing street for a lifelike representation of him to be created via plastic surgery to be made to rule over our country. you know who should rule the country? mr pearson. and yes that was a cheap attempt to make george and kavi respond positively :p.

so right now i'm reading the autobiography of slash (guns n roses/velvet revolver guitarist) which is really really really highly recommended. for some reason i always much prefer to read non-fiction, maybe it's because it's actually real, then again you could argue that the purpose of fiction is to 'experience something outside your own life', like films. i'd still rather read an autobiography than some ridiculous (and blasphemous) story of some annoying boy 'wizard'. it's so obviously just a description of one of rowling's acid trips... silly bitch. am i going to get sued for that? probably not. can you imagine if i wrote that in a proper news article? i'd get fired like a motherfizzer. spanish cw sucks.

Here's why hitler was right all along...

only joking! im bored of this shitty blog. now, me and shakeel got bored the other day and have decided to start a new blog where we review music albums, and occasionally films! wahey i hear you all say... here's the link:

http://sealsperform.blogspot.com/

oh and if anyone else feels the urge to review music, films, anything really, just send it along this way. don't worry, we won't claim it as our own work.... maybe. and, if enough people do it, it might look like a real life blog!